Maybe you’ve tried too hard to not be normal. You all your life have focused on making you unique, you’ve forgotten to focus on making you. You’ve been so inspired by those “it’s okay to be weird” speeches, you’ve convinced yourself that’s what you are.
Wake up honey. You really don’t have to try so hard to be what you’re not. It’s okay to be normal. Not everybody is these days anyway. Normal is now weird. Stop trying so hard to not be normal and just focus on being. On living.
If you like television like normal people do, don’t insist on playing under the rain. There are people that want to have the opportunity to watch TV but can’t.
If you prefer reading e-novels to the hard copies, then by all means have fun.
If you somehow are allergic to country music, enjoy your hip-hop in peace.
And if you really are not mainstream, you somehow are weird and odd. Don’t try to even your pleats.
By all means, do you boo. Do you.
As I saw her, my eyes were blurry as I tried to concentrate on hers. “You’re crying” she said. “No, you are” as I proceeded to wipe my eyes with my folded heart.
He had arrows piercing his back. She always knew where to touch to sooth him. To make him feel better. He thought she was the most caring of all his friends. He never realized she owned the bow.
I flipped through some old files today. Dusty pages having smells of petrichor showing how many times rain has fallen inside my room. With each document I was done looking at, I came further and further more to the realization that I am no longer the same as before. I no longer am a weakling – or at least I don’t admit to being one. And of all the changes I’ve undergone, the one I regret the most is me losing all ability to have feelings. Or this is just my mind playing tricks like it did last year.
The most difficult thing to admit is your feelings. Finding the right words to express what you truly have hidden for a long time…only to be turned down and made to look like a fool; having your soul gutted and forced to promise yourself to never speak, to never consider, to never feel again.
I miss being told “I love you” from truthful lips. I miss having to cater for someone else’s problems and being satisfied from just doing that. I miss laying my head on someone’s breasts and doing nothing but relax my mind. I miss kissing – and not just making out. I miss a lot of things that you offered. But of everything, I miss you most.
I was just casually strolling through instagram with no other aim than to find funny pictures to screenshot, as usual tho.
Then there was you. Someone put up you and her picture with a eulogy saying how she still hasn’t let you go.
And so casually, memories I didn’t remember started causing pain I no longer felt.
15314 is not some random number. It’s the day you died. Watch me watch my cold heart melt.
That ugly Saturday. Don’t tell me anything about time making things better, ‘cos I still feel like it was yesterday. I still am baffled.
Some friends think I overreact sometimes. Some think I’m too stoic about what happened.
Lol, but me. I don’t think. Cos it’s better I live life a blur, blanking out bad memories than to live in a constant pale grey.
I’ve written poems, rapped, sang, stayed away from food. I’ve prayed.
But now I sort of think my constant need to not let you go holds you back and unrested.
Sometimes it feels like I don’t feel my pains. I feel that of others. My mind feels molested.
Some other times I feel like I just feel bad to take away the attention from you, so I’ll be the one being given sorry’s on a platter
Like all what I feel for you is only made up in my head. Mascara.
But you know better. God knows best. Your soul is remembered long after I forget your face.
2 years on, I haven’t cried a single time. I still hope it’s all fake.
And better know you lied when you told me “till next semester” on that Thursday. Bloody –
– hell. I can feel you smiling over all this pain. Schadenfreude