Word On The Street

A so-called “man of God” once told me I had a spirit inside me
And even though I had just ingested ethanol, of course I denied it 
Any such insinuations would be considered spoken-libel
And though my actions are flawed, my intentions aren’t spotted
I never claimed divinity, there are only three members of the Trinity
I’ve never thought anybody perfect since the last mortal crushed my heart with a stare and long lashes
She didn’t seem perturbed or even aware of her actions
Or consequences
My underaged cougar girlfriend once told me she liked me because I was stereotypically linear
I never met a better liar
Hell, I never finish my line of thought in a poem before changing directions
I’m several layers of derailed
A Russian doll of the dead
Like crack this skin, and another falls out
My words always seem deep, but in another light, I could just be another drunk man with internet

Death By Romance

If I could
If you would ever let me
I would take you on dates to my imaginations
I would find park benches that fit us perfectly
I would write poems of each of your body parts
And I would end it all with a song about your heart
Everyday
You would be my favourite bottle
I would drink from your juices every chance I get
Till I get so intoxicated, I would have to sleep over
Because I wouldn’t be able to drive home
I would take so many pictures of you, you would get headaches
I would show you off on every social network I can lay my hands on
I would be your greatest disturber
You would never be able to lie down without having a pillow hit you
I would fuck you till we’re both breathless
I would wake you up with kisses so you never wish to stand up
I would tell my mother about how you smell
I would bring you breakfast in bed
And when you’re done eating, I would eat you out
I would take you to all my boring family gatherings
I would tell you I love you till you get tinnitus
I would do your laundry
I would twerk on your belly
I would tell all my friends about you
And on the day I’m supposed to propose, I would take a trip to Asia and never return
And you would never hear from me ever again
And you would contemplate suicide so much, your guardian angel would give up
You would hate me with all your might and power
But I would not give a fuck
I would move on
And find a new soul to wreck
Because I am a vile evil witch

Breaking Good Hearts

I watched with pale regret
A memory sunken deep in my mind
A scene I dream of each time I close my eyes
An argument I make everytime someone says love is blind
As my dad left my room that morning and never returned to us
Because he “fell in love” with someone else
I was 15 but swore never to forgive him
Or any man
You have a beautiful soul
Your words always soothed mine
You were so persistent, I almost thought I was healed
Almost
I had to leave or I would have left your heart bruised
At the least
So I left with a fold of bandage in the dark
Maybe leaving you broke your heart
But at least I left you with some pieces
Staying would have been worse
You could have died of a cardiomyopathy
Te amo Steven
We just weren’t meant to be

Dian

“Your handwriting is ugly, but your words are beautiful”
My face shone like 5pm sunlight
A mix of red and yellow
She always knew the exact words to say to make midnight seem like 2pm
I awaken from my utopian dream to the reality of my aloneness
It’s 3am and it feels like winter has come earlier than it should have
I can’t see the white walkers, but the cold is very much existent
Yet the coldest thing around seems to be my heart
Followed by my sheets
I think back to the time when her embrace would warm up my soul
When darkness could only be felt in movies and loneliness in poems
Now I only see happiness in those places
I touch my face to feel the 4 pimples on it
There was a time it was smoother
Her smile could make a patch feel like silk
Reality is the worst thing that ever happened since I watched her leave

What Went Wrong 

If I could go back in time
If I could return to the past
I would tell my past-self of you
Of your beauty
Of the miracle called love
Of how your hips whined to nonexistent music when you walked
Of how you changed my life
I would tell my past-self of your perfection
Of your smile
Of how we met
But I would not forget to mention how you left
The wreck you left behind
If I could go back in time
I would tell my past-self not to go jogging on 23rd July, 2014
It’s better to love without ever being in love, than dying in the hands of the one who claims to love you
Love is not just blind
It is a reckless drunken insomniac
It budges and bugs all night and all day
If I could go back in time
I would tell my younger self of all the happiness I could feel with you
And all the hate I would feel thereafter

Chambers

I never understood what it meant to forget a smell, till I could perceive her perfume three days after she left
And I could still hear her shadow in a mocking tone saying goodbye
I never thought love was a physical risk
Until I shattered when she dropped me
When I fell to the sky
And my soul became inhabited by hell
Love is a beautiful thing
But I prefer indifference

Don’t Die Baby

If you ever died, I would turn the biggest hypocrite after your dad
I would cry all night and write all day
I never write poems about you now,
But then, I’d fill up a library
I would write about how I miss the clasp of your fingers
The hold of your palms in mine
Your soft giggle that sounded like shaking milk
Your yellow teeth and skinny beautiful legs
I would claim to love you more than I actually do
I would write music like Celine Dion was just an amateur
If you ever died, I would take flowers to your graveside
I never bring you gifts now
But then, your cemetery would turn a gift shop
I would keep the date of your death till mine
And I would immediately become sad if I perceived your perfume on anyone
I would tell people of your last days
How much time we spent together
How much I miss you
Even though I mostly go weeks without saying hi
I would tell of how many games we played
How your lips tasted like butter
And your eyes flickered like swaying shrubs
How you danced all the time even without music
If you ever died, I would show all the emotions you’ve never seen from me
I would cry over your pictures
I would take selfies pretending your ghost was in the picture
You would be my spirit best friend
My only friend
I would become depressed and stop talking to a lot of people
My parents would call a therapist
And I would tell them how you died with my heart in your smile
I would tell them my soul was buried with your body
And the only reason I’m still here is to cater for your grave
I’m sorry I never tell you how much you mean to me
Maybe it’s because I assumed you should know
But if you ever died, best believe there would be two souls walking into heaven with hands held together
If you ever died, you would see all I ever hid from you
How I thought the cracking of you hip bones sounded like music to my ears
And your ass was always perfect to me
And I was always saw you like a soul mate
My soul mate
If you ever died, your family would mourn
Mine would too
So don’t die baby
I’m sorry this is coming this late
But I love you more than how I told you I love seeing the waiter bring my food at a restaurant
You mean more than the world to me

Long Walk

Your smile is a movie
I don’t own a TV, but I stream you on my phone each night
I have a million pictures of your teeth
All taken with my eyes and saved in my mind
You’re my addiction
I could tell you from a snapshot of your wrist
I hope we get married someday
And we’ll have a girl
And I’ll call her baby
And you’ll be my girl
And I’ll call you baby
And we’ll outlive the world
Or maybe just cast a spell so I’ll forget you exist

Fate

Today, a patient who I was with 3 days back
Who was actively talking with his family
Who we had assured his mom that he was stable, 4 days back
Who looked quite well, apart from his internal injuries
Who asides from the mediastinitis he had gotten due to gastric perforations, would have been fine, died.
And I came to see that life is nothing but a white piece of cloth
It is of no artistic use unless you paint it
You might never have enough time to paint it to perfection
But at least, you would have added colour to it