Inki

I really can’t recall what happened
What made us vibe so hard
I wanted your body at first
Until the first date we had
Then I thought,
“Being the grim reaper wouldn’t be so useless”
Cos I want your soul as well
You’re a quirky princess
You’re not a perfect 10
You’re a 13
A weird odd prime number
You look like a Saturday in heaven
Your forehead knows my middle name
It keeps calling out to me for a kiss
I wonder how you never noticed
This isn’t even a poem lol
It’s a pretext I made up to ask you a favour
Can you be my thunderstorm?
My perfect excuse to stay indoors
– under my sheets
You think your being long sighted is a defect
I think it’s a blessing cos I never see far enough
Maybe we could plan out a future together, large and little
And you’d make all the long term goals
I want to be “goals” with you
If you ever become a waiter,
I’d request for your services a lot
The only thing I’d want served, is your smile
Show daddy your gap tooth
Let’s mix our juices and never be malnourished
I want to be a hoe for you 😁

Dementia

I am a male
An adult human male
But maybe I am not yet a man
Maybe I never want to be one
Cos what society calls “manly” these days, I only see as beast-like
I am an adult human male
I woke up today older than a boy
But I somehow have never grown out of being one
I somehow still adore women
I never want to leave that phase
Being a man has never been enticing enough
I never looked up to want to be able to hurt a woman
My heart is the same size as my fist
But my fist has less muscle
It could never punch an XX carrier
I wear my heart on my sleeves
And I’m not sorry I say sorry a lot
I don’t apologise I adore the softness of her skin
I never want to be grown enough to not open the door for her
To not be sad when I see tears in her eyes
I am 5ft8in on a good day
I’m beardless
Maybe I have too much estrogen coursing through the garage of my genitals
Maybe I might turn out to be a disappointment to men
I’m sorry I never thought raping or molesting a weaker vessel made me look better
I’m sorry I don’t think a woman unclad must want to have sex
I’m sorry I don’t hate her makeup
Call me a pussy
That’s from whence I came
I’m not afraid to stay there
I am a male
An adult human male
But maybe I am not yet a man
Maybe I never want to be one

Woke

Who do you think you are?
What amount of power has your mind deceived you you have?
He never saw himself as perfect 
But he strived hard to be, for you
You never saw him as worth it
Yet, you never said a word
You let him enjoy the deceit 
You nurtured the lie
And when it blossomed
You, like an inside spy,
Stabbed him in the front
On his left fifth intercostal space
You never had perfect aim
But you used his cardiac muscle for practice
The number of times you stabbed as hard as you could
Breaking every piece into further pieces
Who do you think you are?

Forbidden Vision

Maybe you don’t see it well enough
Your eyes are not just those,
They are diamonds painted out of colour
This mask you bear on your face
Your makeup, it is a disguise
Your earrings are slave chains
Your choker is an appendage
Maybe you don’t see it well enough
I did not ask for your nudes because I wanted something to masturbate to
I didn’t want to see you naked
I just wanted you to see you
Maybe you don’t see it well enough
Imagine a masterpiece painted by an amateur
You could never appreciate yourself well enough if you held the airbrush
Under all that clothing,
Under that covering of unnecessary garments,
Lies perfection
Maybe you don’t see it well enough
Maybe you don’t see you well enough

Gravity

I was once an addict
But saying this, these days, is much like saying “I was once born”
Have you ever been addicted to something?
This is an honest question 
But watch as your mind tries to evade this, like freedom eluding the leader of a failed prison break
Most of us have had one addiction or the other at a point in our lives
Yet, only a few have overcome it
The rest claiming to be free, probably only evaded it, or have hidden it deep down in the soliloquy of their mental alertness
The number of youths in hideous forms of addictions is much like the rising profile of our unpatriotic corruption
And most guardians feign ignorance
Or they think they can flog the addiction out
I used to be an expert in staying in the dark
I could smell footsteps from 3 blocks away
My eyes would dart, and recognise unseen silhouettes, as all my senses would become aware
I always knew just when to stop to not get caught
And if I ever did get caught, I might have been flogged, or given stern judgemental talkings to
Or taken to church for prayers 
As though my addiction was gotten from a metaphysical realm
I hated it, but my addiction loved me like a newly wedded bride
The best way to stop an addiction, is to make the addict want to stop
I never stopped because I was “afraid to miss heaven”
I did because I came to see the physical damage I was inflicting on myself
But worse off, the emotional wreck I had become, despite my denials
I made conscious efforts to change
I built a rehab in my mind
I survived.
Guardians, not every child would
Stop being so much of a threat, and start being a guide
I was once an addict
Can you say the same?

Rest

I thought about it today
The angel of death must know me a lot
And must hear about my name everyday
Because the number of my friends he’s taken away…
He must have gotten accustomed to hearing their pleas
How often I’ve cried over a goodbye I never said
Rest in peace gee

Natural Death

I’ve always wanted to write a poem you’d read
This poem
I’ve always wanted to tell you I actually really totally am in love with you
But also, fuck you
Fuck you for loving your ex more than you love yourself
For going back each time you get the chance
And having him break your heart each time he has the chance
And having you run back to me each time you get no chance
Yet never having to give me any chance
I hate you sometimes
I’ve always wanted to record a video saying all the held back pained thoughts I’ve had of you
Maybe loving you was my mistake 
But your never loving me back, is yours
I would end it all today
Let’s let this love die a natural death

Legal Case

Let’s all deceive ourselves that “it’s just a poem right?
Although we see this visibly obvious cry of a teenager in a hell hole,
Let’s leave him to his demons
It couldn’t be that serious. He must just be writing for the fun of it”
Till you wake up one morning, and he doesn’t
And everyone feigns shock
“He always seemed happy. What could have made him kill himself?”
Let’s all pretend you care
Because only then, would you have a clear conscience
As if you weren’t just an accomplice to suicide

Gunshots

The first time I heard the sounds of a heart shatter
I was a sophomore
It was a black moonless Sunday night
You were seated where we usually always met
I still think how fun it was
How we didn’t need to call each other or have any form of communication to know we had to see ourselves at the same spot at the same time, everyday
So there you were
Smiling, because you could already make out my silhouette in the poorly lit windowless closed space
We hugged and proceeded to do other things which I wouldn’t want to remember
And when I told you there was something important I had to tell you,
I could perceive your heart rate increase
I could hear your blood vessels stretch as they dilated to allow more blood flow
You choked on your own inhaled air
I could feel you feel the anticipation of what you had no idea about
How you tried to, in your mind, gauge how we’d being the past few weeks
Whether I had been distant
Whether there was something you’d missed
Whether you’d been distant
Whether there was something I seemed to be missing
And when I knelt down
I could see in your eyes you expected a proposal
I’m sorry I went leftist and told you how much I wanted out
You see, all the time we’d been together,
All the time it looked like I adored your every being
All the time I made you fall so deeply in love with me
I only wanted two things
Or three, since they all were in your chest
Your heart, and your breasts
You never really were that interesting to me