Gunshots

The first time I heard the sounds of a heart shatter
I was a sophomore
It was a black moonless Sunday night
You were seated where we usually always met
I still think how fun it was
How we didn’t need to call each other or have any form of communication to know we had to see ourselves at the same spot at the same time, everyday
So there you were
Smiling, because you could already make out my silhouette in the poorly lit windowless closed space
We hugged and proceeded to do other things which I wouldn’t want to remember
And when I told you there was something important I had to tell you,
I could perceive your heart rate increase
I could hear your blood vessels stretch as they dilated to allow more blood flow
You choked on your own inhaled air
I could feel you feel the anticipation of what you had no idea about
How you tried to, in your mind, gauge how we’d being the past few weeks
Whether I had been distant
Whether there was something you’d missed
Whether you’d been distant
Whether there was something I seemed to be missing
And when I knelt down
I could see in your eyes you expected a proposal
I’m sorry I went leftist and told you how much I wanted out
You see, all the time we’d been together,
All the time it looked like I adored your every being
All the time I made you fall so deeply in love with me
I only wanted two things
Or three, since they all were in your chest
Your heart, and your breasts
You never really were that interesting to me

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