Poisoned Grounds

If I told you how much I loved you, you’d find it creepy
You’d call me delusional
You’d say I was mistaken
But you see, my dear, you always were my definition of beautiful
Your smile was the ground on which rose petals sprang
What others called dark spots, I called strawberry seeds. Your face was loamy soil
I can’t still say when I stopped seeing you as perfect
It wasn’t sudden, I could almost taste the subtlety
It was like the last minute of a boring lecture
It took all the time in the world
But it happened
I woke up one morning and calling you perfect seemed like a lie, for the first time in my existence
You see, my dear, it was always so subtle
It was there the first time I started feeling like a bug in your life
The first time you left me on “read”
It was there the first time I saw you laughing at his jokes and I suddenly felt unfunny
The first time your smiles looked forced
You can’t fake a smile I already memorized. A smile I so vividly dreamt about every night
It was there the first time I found out you’d rather hang out with him
I don’t know when it happened, but I suddenly found out you no longer were my favourite person
Your laughter no longer brought tinglings in my insides
I don’t exactly miss you anymore
But sometimes, I wish life didn’t always have to come at me so fast
Sometimes, I wish I could see what sunshine people saw in days so dark
Sometimes, I wish we never met